31 Jan 2013


Posted by: Rob in ARTICLES


Pants on Fire had its first in a hat-trick of Mondays in our November residency at the Alexander Bar Theatre this week.

With Zolani Mahola and Kurt Schoonraad on the bill i dont need to tell you that it turned out to be a cracker.

We scored 325 points on the dot, which as you know is the most points you can get at Pants on Fire, so ja, it was pretty special.

I’d have to say that one of my highlights was when Martin and i did impersonations of his mother giving a bacon massage.

The night also witnessed probably the best renditions of the Welsh, Scottish and Yorkshire accents known to humanity and did much for the reputation of Milton Keynes.

I also unveiled an early draft of my new poem which i posted on Monday shortly before the performance. If you missed it – here you go…

I think it was received well and has given me courage to continue using writing poetry as a conduit for my artistic emotions.

In the end though the night belonged to our guests.

Zolani brought her small person guitar and sang no less than three songs in this beautifully intimate venue to us, the lucky few. One of those songs was called ‘Fuck You Leroy’ an improvised ode to a guy named Leroy in the front row who got up to go pee as Zolani started playing. It was beautiful.

She then joined us on the couch to be peppered with questions like:

‘Was there a point when you were writing Doo-bee-Doo when you thought to yourself, hang-on, this is going to get annoying after a while?’

‘Who is the biggest dick in the band?’


‘What was it like being the backing vocal on the 3rd verse of a Shakira song?’

Zolani then set a new record for swearing and kicked Leroy in the nuts before storming out with her little person guitar.

But not really.

In the words of Martin Evans; she owned us.

Here is a little clip of her singing…

After the break, comic legend Kurt Schoonraad joined us on the couch for some behind the scenes insight on life, the universe and comedy before closing the show with trademark hilarity and charm.

Kurt is probably one of the funniest people i have ever met and (as i have mentioned before) the guy who convinced me to do stand-up so it was pretty special to have him up there with us. He is a genius and pretty much my first choice on who would be the perfect person to close a Pants on Fire show.

That is all.

Next Monday we will be joined by our old angry ginger friend of legend, the one and only Paul Snodgrass as well as the guitar genius that is Andy Lund. These two have a very special ginger chemistry when they are together and Martin and I cannot wait to get them on the couch.


It is with great pleasure that i can announce the addition of Alan Committie to our Monday the 19th line-up.

Allan had heard how much fun we were having on Pants on Fire and he popped into the Alexander Bar after the show on Monday and demanded to be allowed to come and play. No-one enjoys giving me shit more than Alan so this Monday is going to be something you do not want to miss.

Its a tiny little venue so its essential to pre-book which you can do right now by phoning this number…

021 3001088

See you there.

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