Two nights ago I swear I experienced my first ever real life UFO sighting.
I was driving home after my show (its really fantastic you should see it its nearly over) on Boyes drive and suddenly somewhere over Elsies Peak I saw an object hurtling towards the earth at a considerable speed. When I say considerable what I mean to say is that it was going really fucking fast. It didn’t seem like it was falling, it seemed like it was going into hyper-drive. It seemed like a projectile shooting towards the earth at a catastrophic pace. There was a kind of bluey/green glow/tint to the thing (kind of disco actually but without the flashing) and it was heading down at a kind of 45-degree angle.
I think the first thought I had was that it was a comet and I immediately had horrific visions of it, in a display of cosmic bad luck of galactic and Donnie Darko-esque proportions, picking out my house to obliterate and with it everything I hold dear. I knew that to be highly unlikely and it is a terrible habit of mine to picture the worst possible outcome of any given situation so I banished the thought from my mind and tried to focus instead on trying to explain what the hell it could’ve been. My rational head (Yes, I have one, I keep it in the cubby hole next to the hand sanitizer) said maybe it was a small airplane crashing but the truth is it was moving too fast or at least it seemed to be. When things fall, even big things, sure they drop fast but they don’t seem to be propelled, they just kinda, well, drop. Also, the lights were strange. It wasn’t like flaming aircraft mid air explosion falling to the ground in blazing inferno kind of lights. It all seemed a little bit more contained and civilized than that. As I was craning my head and trying to see or hear evidence of an explosion as it disappeared out of my sight and I winded through Boyes Drive towards Fish Hoek I was eager to see some evidence of what I had just so fleetingly witnessed because I knew above all that it really was kind of weird and totally out of the ordinary whatever the explanation. I came around Clovelly from Kalk Bay half expecting and almost hoping to see a crash site (with unscathed survivors of course) up against the mountain with a plume of smoke confirming that I had not just witnessed some weird unexplainable alien mystery but there was nothing of the sort. It was just Fish Hoek. Plain old Fish Hoek.
I got home and phoned the police station to report it just in case it had been an aircraft and I was the only one to see it but really I wanted to see if anyone else had reported something similar. The cop said that it had been a really quiet night up until then and they had had no similar reports. He chuckled. I think he thought I was taking the piss or that I was pissed or high or just plain crazy (this is Fish Hoek after all – we’re all plain high, pissed or crazy here).
I then took to twitter to see if anyone else had seen anything. There was the expected banter (I thank Rob Forbes for sending me this pic: which kind of exactly sums up where im coming from) and some interesting conjecture. More than one person mentioned that the Peninsula has become a veritable hot bed of UFO sightings and someone even posted an article from the Telegraph confirming these wildly unsubstantiated claims and theories.
Someone else mentioned that the Cape Peninsula University of Technology ‘tests all sorts of flying objects on the peninsula.’ The F’SATI – CPUT twitter account then tweeted mentioning that they doubted they had anything to do with it.
Probably the most interesting interaction came from a guy called Carrick Klopper (who describes himself as an entrepreneur and urban farmer specializing in Organi Aquaponic Fresh Produce which ive got to be honest sounds pretty frikkin alien to me) who related a sighting that he experienced.
He said that he saw a UFO that resembled a TR-3B (a US ‘black budget’ military aircraft), that he claims, was no further than 1 km away and 300 metres high with a triangular shape and a red pulsating light in each corner and a bright white light in the middle. He said that hovered in the air for about five minutes somewhere around Sunny Cove station before veering off towards Noordhoek (presumably to buy some dagga from a horse). It’s a pretty detailed sighting and he is convinced that it couldn’t be an aircraft; comet, drone or any other easily explained away hypotheses based on its shape, lights, trajectory and speed etc. He wasn’t the only one who mentioned they had had similar sightings in the area before by the way.
In retrospect I feel a little ashamed that my sighting didn’t have the kind of detail and verisimilitude that his does. I mean, mine was just a flash really, a super quick darting light heading towards earth that I saw in the blink of an eye as I was headed home. I feel kind of cheated actually, why didn’t my lights hover and float a bit?
Whatever it was, I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen anything else quite like it.
I did notice with some interest however that the following day a bunch of circus folk had set up camp on the local sports field. Coincidence? I think not.
Also, the mountain behind our house was on fire last night. Some of those space ships have got a slow burn on them don’t you know?
In the end though all I really have to show for my close encounter of the Peninsula kind was some brief yet exciting twitter traffic. I think the most satisfying moment of the evening came when celebrated author, columnist and wit, Tom Eaton (he of the brainy brains and the beardy beard) mentioned that he hoped it was a meteorite and not the start of the history chapter called ‘The Van Vuuren Catastrophe’. I quipped that I’d be pretty chuffed if I managed to bag naming rights to the end of the world. Because hey, who wouldn’t?